In Iraq for 365

About my experiences in Iraq... the frustrations, the missions and this country... and the journey home

Sunday, December 26, 2004

PR Man takes on Bad Grammar Guy

I have faced critics before about my writing, and I’ve grown some pretty thick skin. In college, I was the columnist everybody hated or loved. I once wrote an editorial on the joys of deer hunting, which led to the president of PETA sending me a personal letter. I am used to pissing people off through my words, and little bothers me. But there’s a frequent poster on this blog who has left me no choice but to roll up my sleeves and take a few jabs. Always referring to himself as “Anonymous,” this person said I was somebody who told lies because I work in public affairs; he doubted I was even in Iraq; he hopes I end up in a body bag; and that I should just go home before I become crippled and helpless. On one particular comment, he stated nobody likes cripples. Through his words, you can tell he is truly demented, but I have to give it to him: he’s at least consistent. That’s more than John Kerry can say. Here’s a recent comment of his…

Bold=Mr. Anonymous
Not bold=Me

What a load of BS, you are PR man,You main task is to lie, deceive,spin.Nobody in their right mind would trust such people.By the way, I suspect you probably comment on your posts as well. There cannot be some dumb people to believe your porkies.If you are in Mosul as you state, I hope you get a special gift from iraqi freedom fighters delivered right in your lying mouth.

Let’s analyze this man’s statements, shall we? First, “you are PR Man.” Hey, I like the sounds of that. Maybe, I should get a costume with “PR” embroidered on my cape and chest. My magic power could be my ability to “spin” so fast that I suck evildoers into a black hole. My service to the world would be to rid all blogs from Anonymous posters. My arch enemy could be you Mr. Anonymous, but I really think you should change your name to Bad Grammar Guy. “There cannot be some dumb people to believe your porkies.” What in the world are you trying to say man? Yes, I’ve seen Porkies if that’s what you’re getting at, but how is that relevant to Iraq. “If you are in Mosul as you state, I hope you get a special gift from Iraqi freedom fighters delivered right in your lying mouth.” OK, now you’re just getting ugly. If you’re making fun of my fat lips, you should know most girls find my puffy lips attractive. As for the Mosul part, yup, I’m here. The city is split in half by the Tigris River; there’s currently an enormous mosque under construction that’s on the side of the major freeway; there are maybe three camels in the whole city and they’re domesticated; there’s a leaning mosque by a market that’s like 3,000 years old. What else do you want to know about the city? I’ve been a resident for a year.

My first impression of this guy: a fat, bald middle-aged man who was picked on a lot. He sits around his living room, wearing nothing but underwear, eating corn flakes from a dirty bowl while he watches cartoons. Either that or he’s a radical Islamic who needs work on his English. He said he’s not American, so I surmise he has a vendetta against America and that he supports the terrorists who behead the innocent and bomb schools.

Here’s another one of Bad Grammar Guy’s comments…

You are just cannon fodder there in Iraq, nobody cares about what you think and what you feel. The best option is to leave Iraq while you are still alive, go back to your family. You do not have to fight rich man's war.There is no honor, no integrity, no just cause in occupaying Iraq.Judging by your own analysis, I presume that you are at loss who to fight, you do not understand between right or wrong, you just kill anybody you might be in some way persieved as being a threat to you or your buddies. So eventually, you will go crazy as many other vietnam vets. Grazy soldiers never win wars, they always lose. Remember Vietnam, Lebanon, Somalia.You still have a choice to go back to your country, home, to your family alive and well. Nobody cares about crippled, limbless vets. They will ignore you, then pity you, then forget you.

“Cannon fodder.” Great, it looks like Bad Grammar Guy picked up some big words. Glad to see you have a pocket dictionary handy, BGG. “nobody cares about what you think and what you feel. The best option is to leave Iraq while you are still alive, go back to your family. You do not have to fight rich man's war.” Leave Iraq? Are you kidding. I’ve got a big family here, both Iraqi and American. The only rich men who have something to lose are the former Ba’athists and terrorist leaders, and right now, those are the guys filling your “web sites” with lies, not me pal. As for all your other jibber jabber, we don’t kill people to kill people. In fact, we have very strict rules of engagement. We get thrown in jail if we kill unarmed people while the terrorists get rewarded by people like you.

“Eventually, you will go crazy as many other vietnam vets.” Crazy? Come on man, I think I could easily pass a sanity test. Now, you on the other hand, we’ve got some work to do. First, go buy a six pack and swig it all down. Then, watch “Ace Ventura.” And after that, buy a Hard Rock Café shirt and come talk to me. You really need to lighten up, man. Nobody likes a comic book character with a bad temper. In order to be PR Man’s nemisis, you must have some good qualities or at least say something nice. That way, just maybe, somebody will understand your point of view. But if you still want to play unfair, remember I am PR Man and I have a cape.

69 Comments:

At 10:57 PM, Blogger 2Slick said...

Absolutely spectacular. I wish I could hire you to come over and handle the trolls I get on my site. I don't get many of them, but when they do hit me, I'm often torn. I want to unload on them, but I also feel I should ignore them. Usually I try to go your route, and just have fun with them.

Anyways, this is an excellent site- keep up the great work...

 
At 1:10 AM, Blogger Mike said...

I've taken the liberty of linking to both this story and the life-saving Iraqi soldiers story. (Just thought I would let ya know since you don't have trackbacks.)

In any case, you've just been added to my daily list of (Mil)blogs. Great writing; the takedown of the troll is worth the price of admission alone.

It sounds like you had a Merry (if slightly...'aromatic') Christmas, so I'll just wish you a Happy New Year, with best and safe wishes for that entire year.

As always, thanks for all you do in defending our country's freedom.

 
At 4:26 AM, Blogger Army Mom said...

A few facts for Bad Grammar Guy:

Politicians who represent the will of the people, not soldiers, are responsible for making the decision to be in Iraq.

Soldiers (even those with capes) don't get to leave when they decide it is time. That decision is made by the military, which according to the Founding Fathers, is a wholly owned subsidiary of the American people.

Maybe Bad Grammer Guy needs to look in the mirror and rant at himself. Or to be even more effective in sharing his dismay at the current state of affairs, learn a bit of english grammar, sprinkled with a couple of old fashioned manners and take it up with his member of Congress, Senator...or even the President. Shoot, he could even start his own blog and leave and the address here for critical review across the WWW.

One bit of warning though, Bad Grammar Guy; the FBI and Secret Service Guys don't like "trash talk" when it comes to the President...and are quite willing to visit to let you know that.

 
At 7:45 AM, Blogger Epador said...

Unfortunately, sometimes there are also Good Grammar Guys who are trolls - at least some of the folks in MSM. ('course not all).

Herbert is at it again.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/27/opinion/27herbert.html?th

Keep writing. As a PR guy you have to put in some plugs for all the .mil bloggers when you cart the press around.

 
At 8:35 AM, Blogger ac blue eagle said...

An observation: I was a newspaper reporter a long time, and one day it struck me: if there weren't bad guys in the world, the good guys wouldn't have anything to do.
That said, I don't mind the bad guys as much as I did because they give us good guys something to do.

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger CaliValleyGirl said...

Lol...I love it. Bad Grammar Guy got me the other day too...at another blogger's site. This is what he said:"And remember your dominance will not last for much longer. Justice will be done. Corporate thieves and nazis, your satanic elitists, zionist first worlders will be punished in this life and after life.

P.S. visit this site if you want genuine discussion.

www.iraq-war.ru"

Oh, and he said this after calling me a pre-programmed bio-robot moron, living in a virtual reality. So it was basically: you are an idiot incapable of comprehension, however, if you decide to join us enlightened ones, check out this site to meet your savior...[I think he left a link to the same site on your blog.] I have checked out that site and there are conspiracy theory articles [along the lines of: "Mosul Strike Confirmed as Rocket Attack," and goes on to report (from the Iraqi Resistance reporter: so your counterpart on the other side...lol) that 200 US personnel died in last week's attack, not the 22 mentioned, and all the photos were fakes], along with some interesting analysis articles in there too. But seeing as he thinks that you aren't even in Iraq, I can pretty much guess which ones he is reading. Actually, I think he probably reads both...it is equally frustrating to me that someone can be capable of pretty intellectual thought, but still believe in some pretty insane conspiracy theories. But hey, he is probably thinking the same thing about us...oh, no, I forgot, I am just a bio-robot moron.

FYI: A "porky" is cockney rhyming slang...it is short for porky pie, which then stands for lie...

My guess: this guy is the spoilt son of a wealthy Middle Eastern (Lebanese, Jordanian, etc.). He has been schooled in Great Britain...and is now back home. Daddy hasn't given him a job yet, in his construction company or whatever, so he has loads of time on his hands, which he spends enlightening morons of the evils of Western culture, while using Western technology, the mastering of a language he learned in a Western university, and probably sitting on his Levi's clad butt, in his Nike clad feet. He is the Middle Eastern version of Patty Hearst.

 
At 10:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yo, Sminkie you know we love ya here in Texas. (the pool) ...or maybe i'm not really here. Damn! i love the Ace Ventura suggestion. i happen to know a certain somebody's son who does a real scary imitation........or maybe Ace is imitating him? Double Damn!! remember Tokyo Rose from some 60 years ago? yeh, well she was full of shit too. can you say "latrine fodder"? a little fertilizer goes a long way, especially the quality shit. STILL LOVE YA SMINK! keep up the good work and to bad grammar i say try brushin yer teeth and keepin yer haid outta camel's exits.

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger TBone said...

Hey Smink,

You are a pretty slick "PR Man"!! Keep up the good work. I posted your link on my blog so others can share. My blog is located at: http://iraqperspective.blogspot.com

To Bad Grammar Guy, why don't you take a look at some of the Iraqis who are blogging? For example:
http://iraq-iraqis.blogspot.com is a decent read. Perhaps you can believe someone who has more experience with the problem set than yourself. I imagine your point of view is pretty narrow since you probably haven't picked your lazy ass off the couch in a while, and have NEVER been in a combat zone. So stop running your pie-hole and try to learn something about life instead of making comments about things you have no knowledge of.

Cheers,
TBone

 
At 12:09 PM, Blogger Taumarunui said...

"porkies" is Cockney rhyming slang for lies. It comes from Pork Pie which rhymes with Lie.

Your troll is familiar with English as spoken in London, although porkies is fairly well known in British countries.

Given the content, I'd suggest said troll relies on the BBC and the Guardian for its "news" and views. That's why it writes directly from its Khyber (as in "Khyber Pass"). It is also too stupid to realize that Cockney rhyming slang has no currency in the wider world of English.

 
At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not anonymous. The name is Art and I just found your blog PR guy. Keep up the good work and don't let slime buckets such as Mr. Anonymous get to you. Reading you blog I'm glad he didn't. From his comments, sounds like he or she had some teaching from the socialists or even communists. He or she must want for attention because whatever country he breathes air in, considers him a mindless and useless individual.

 
At 12:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I'm one of the "dumb people" that reads your blog; you are in my “bookmarks” that I check every day. I have to post "anonymous" since I'm not a blogger/don't have a password.I grew up in the communist Easter Europe so I know a thing or two about the freedoms of this word. I lived in England, Canada and South Africa before coming to USA. Unfortunately there are some people who live in this country that take a lot for granted. I stopped watching regular media as its “reporting” makes me angry most of the time. Thanks for the Internet and people like you. I love your stories!
And, by the way, I DO CARE “about what you think and what you feel.”
To Bad Grammar Guy who writes: “Nobody cares about crippled, limbless vets.” – SHAME on you for being such a heartless being to the very same people that protect your freedoms.
All the best to you PR Man,
Agnieszka from Denver, CO

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger RahX said...

Man, I'd like a troll now.

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger Jaxson said...

I wish I'd found your blog earlier, because I think it's really interesting. I was in the Marine Corps, so I have friends heading over, in addition to my cousin who is stationed in Baghdad. Just wanted to say I think PR man would be the coolest damn superhero! It's so sad that people like bad grammar guy exist, but there isn't much we can do about them. Good luck with everything and stay safe!

 
At 3:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let the troll know we do care.
Joy

 
At 3:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me no get it. Why Pr Man must leave if he lie and not there? Where he go if he go? Where Bad Grammer Man want Pr Man go if Pr Man now in home?

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger JD Mays said...

I know it's difficult to ignore guys like that. I suspect the main reason they post is for the attention, and, oh yeah, also because they're dicks.
They aren't worth the time it takes to respond to them.

 
At 6:25 PM, Blogger Angel said...

Love the blog, but I must take exception to the one idiot point the dweeb made that you did not touch on.

“Nobody cares about crippled, limbless vets. They will ignore you, then pity you, then forget you.”

As it has already been pointed out, Mr. Clueless Guy, you are sadly mistaken on every point you so poorly tried to make in your little dissertation. However humorous most of the drivel you produced was, this single statement burns my backside with a 4 foot flame.

I do not know of another Military or Country for that matter that so firmly believes in leaving “NO ONE BEHIND”. Yes, we have a long way to go in our care for our Vet’s, but it’s damn site better now that it was 20 years ago, and is a mere glimpse of where that care will be in 10 more to come.

Thousands of Americans take time out of their day to visit our VA hospitals, spend time with our wounded soldiers, to ensure they know they are not only cared for, but appreciated, valued and most importantly, they are loved.

I’d offer to invite you on the 300 mile odyssey that my children and I make bi-weekly to a VA hospital to witness this first hand, but 1) I do not think I could stand the stench of your presence in the car for that long of a trip and 2) I’m afraid I rather particular about who I allow my children to associate with. Small minded individuals whom are obviously suffering from delusions are not included in the list.

I know, intellectually that responding or giving any form of acknowledgement to a person like you is akin to asking you rely, but trust me when I say you can save it.

Again Sminkl, thank you for the fantastic job you do with this blog, your service and your obvious dedication and care for your soldiers. I hope that you have a much more peaceful New Year!!!!!!

Cheers,

Angel

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

Switch to Haloscan. You can ban the troll. They're not worth your time.

 
At 10:51 PM, Blogger ledger said...

Smink,

This idiot is probably an out of work al Jazeera reporter. Feel free to take any and all steps to get him of your blog.

 
At 2:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you haven't already you should see the flame war over at Raed in the middle, problem is, I think the brothers + their soul mates are in on it.

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger Kim said...

wow - I take a couple of days off from blogsville and all hell breaks out. Good for you for speaking out about the little troll. Some of us really appreciate your posts...

 
At 10:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope all of you the bunch of evil-minded, ignorant, downright selfish, smug,insolently proud, too proud of their formal education centred on visible success rather than seeking the truth of this world, stupidly conceited, "champions" of strong and powerful, slaves of rich and affluent people really missed me and my truthful comments.

In response to your childish post mister clog in super PR machine of mighty Penta-gon I have the following to say ;
First,if you permit me, I ignore most of your senseless drivel, which might fool some of your blissfully ignorant admirers though but not those who were on the receiving end of your endless propaganda full deceitful words. On second thought I'd rather ignore all of it, do not wish to lower myself with silly rantings.

One does not need to be eloquent in speech or writing to tell the simple truth, neither does one need to have a degree in literature to portray and see the injustices, oppression of this world caused by some arrogant people, who think of themselves as bringers of democracy-hypocricy, the "leaders" of "free world", the "defenders" of "civilized" world and etc.

So, it is your choice what action to take, either ignore the reality surrounding you and use self-deception or be brave enough to accept the truth and fight injuctice and various forms of tyranny.

As for my statement that:
“Nobody cares about crippled, limbless vets. They will ignore you, then pity you, then forget you.”
I obviusly meant the usan general public. Most of them do not care at all, they'd rather watch sports on tv, idiotic VIRTUAL REALITY(what a joke!) shows and etc.

Here are some excerpts from a recently published interview with one of usan veterans of several wars,Al Neuharth. He merely hinted at earlier withdrawal of usan troops, see what responses he got from the great, patriotic and very grateful usan public.


Quote "Al Fowler, Malcolm, NE: "Hero in '44 and traitor in '04. I will never even ACCEPT a free USA Today from a hotel, and will make it a point to say why when staying."

Quote " Cliff Hair: “Never heard of Al Neuharth! What makes him so special and who gives a damn what he thinks?”

Quote "Travis Snyder: "He dishonors those who died by inviting American surrender. This is no Vietnam(Iraq). We can never have another Vietnam(Iraq)."

Quote "J. Boke, Titusville, FL: “Al Neuharth's war experience crippled his brain, or he's just too old to have much left. War experience doesn't necessarily make one wise. It CAN have a negative effect on one's judgement. It sounds like Mr. Neuharth, as well John McCain, both suffered mentally via their strong emotional suffering.”
Here is the link if you are interested,
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000742016

P.S. Do not worry about me ever commenting on your nonsense blog. It was a rather hasty decision to comment, could not restrain myself, I was angered by your obvious lies and misinformation. Also I could have invited dozens of other angry people to check your blog , but decided not to disturb your reader's peaceful sleep of reason. Those you have kind and honest heart will find the truth not matter what.

 
At 6:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. Your site is now in my bookmarks. Thanks.

2. Don't let the trolls get you down! Steven Den Beste found the burden too heavy -- whatever you have to do in order to keep your strength up, do it. Your voice is appreciated and needed. I'm going to pass the word about your site.

3. The good thing about trolls is they validate our opinions: in them we see the evil we must oppose. When we have had enough, however, it's time to turn off the noise. Don't think it's censorship to delete, ignore or ban...it's simply an expression of self-respect.

 
At 8:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me slave love my rich powerful master. He have big white house and long black car. He let me read Pr Man. He give me big crumbs on floor. My master not cut my head off if I make mistake and pray to wrong “religion of peace”. Me look at sports on 42 in plasma. Yes me missed Bad Grammar Man.

 
At 9:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good stuff. Obviously this “bad-grammar man” is one of the terrorist cockroaches, or some kind of supporter or sympathizer. He is probably some kind of Islamic euro-trash, safe in a once free democratic, now heavily socialist nation, who just happens to still have enough opportunity, prosperity, and freedom to allow this creature to afford internet access. I’d hate to think that America, which has produced people like Michael Moore, and Barbra Streisand, could reach a new low and produce such an ignorant creature, but with the far left controlling so much of our education systems here for so long, perhaps he is indeed a little fat bald angry American as you described.

In any case, he seems to be more rant than substance. My recommendation for him (which I know he can’t pull off) is to keep his focus on clear and well supported arguments. As it stands, my pre-teen children make clearer and more compelling arguments. This creature is a great example why the terrorist-cockroaches can’t win, why John Kerry didn’t win, why the elite American media continues to loose it’s power, and why the Euro-bozos are irrelevant. To be a bit philosophical here, it’s all out of an impressionistic worldview, and not an intellectual worldview. It is full of raw emotion, and half baked facts. Howard Dean summed up this entire philosophy when he said with a beat red faced howl: “Hhhhhhaaaaayyyyyaaaaaaaaahh” …

- Average American (well, perhaps a little more blessed… I’m a Texan!)

 
At 2:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, Bad Grammar Guy sounds like my Aunt. I have a cousin who's in the Green Barets as a field medic. He's supposed to go out to Iraq in MArch. She wants him to die so she can tell people George Bush killed her nephew. Heck, maybe "he" is my aunt. After all, in her skewed world, anyone who disagrees with her is either brainwashed or a tool of the man to spread disinformation. She's one of them folks who believes people need an unbiased news source like NPR or MoveOn.org to get the truth. Sigh. Now I'm all upset, I'm off to read yoour next entry.

Again, awesome job, thanks for sharing!
Jake

 
At 8:37 AM, Blogger SGT Lori said...

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!! Keep up the good work. But remember E sez "no keps!!" (capes)(the Incredibles, 2004)

Hoorah!
Sgt Lori Fields

 
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