In Iraq for 365

About my experiences in Iraq... the frustrations, the missions and this country... and the journey home

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Getting out

It’s been one of the more difficult decisions of my life. For nine years, I’ve served the Army National Guard with every thing I have. I’ve been to the majority of the Army bases across the country for training, conducted actual operations in Nicaragua, Kuwait and of course, Iraq. But the time has come for me to get out. My ETS date is in October, and now, the retention types and fellow soldiers are telling me that me getting out is a great loss to the Army.

To be honest, when I hear these words, it hurts. At times, it feels like I am betraying my soldiers and country for opting to no longer be a soldier. My decision is not based off of money, passion or disgust for the military. Rather, I just feel it’s time to have free weekends, a full summer and no deployment looming.

Part of me wants to continue climbing the rank ladder, train soldiers and retire. But that desire only comes from serving others, not myself. When I look at the reasons I would stay, none of them are about me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a selfish guy. My life is storied with helping others to the point that I often ignore my needs to benefit my fellow man. For once in my life, I am truly making a decision that is just about me.

I don’t need the money, albeit the offered $15,000 bonus is tempting. Professionally, I believe I’ve gained everything the Army can offer… I’ve led soldiers in combat, strategized and implemented good plans. And I certainly have taken away the most valuable skill the Army gives young people – honor.

However, it’s time for me to build my life as a civilian, to finish this book and maybe one day, raise a family. One thing is for sure… whatever becomes of my life, I will always look back on my nine years of service and one year in Iraq as my greatest accomplishment.

So, I thank the Army for all the good years and the chance to serve my country. The Lord knows that I wouldn’t be the same had I never joined.

115 Comments:

At 11:11 AM, Blogger Funky One said...

Your post is clearly written with a heavy heart: Your job was to defend your nation and fulfill your committment honorably. And you did.

Best of luck,
Funky One.

 
At 12:06 PM, Anonymous kbug said...

Casanova, I know you've been thinking about this for a long time. It's not an easy decision for someone like you to make. You're quite the soldier! As far as your leaving being a great loss to the Army, though, it will be, but don't feel bad or guilty about that...you've given so much to the Army and done more for your country than most people will do in their whole lifetime. Thank you doesn't say enough. You are an honorable man!! It's now time for you to think about your future and what's best for you.

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger strykeraunt said...

I agree with everything stated by the posters above me (hopefully some troll doesn't post before I push the button). Nine years is a long time and a lot of sacrifice. You have served your country honorably and now its time to move on.

 
At 5:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your 9 years of service. Best of luck in the future.

 
At 7:38 PM, Blogger BF said...

...it's okay to move on into a civilian life! You have shared truths with so many and sacrificed so much - and that will be part of your legacy.

Veterans of wars that come back to tell their stories, yet move on with their lives still serve their country and their fellow man - as an example. An example of a true hero.

You are betraying no one - you are simply proving that as a soldier, you served your country honorably, and as a human being, you continue to cherish the freedoms you protected!

Some day, when raising your own children, they will know of your sacrifices and you will have the opportunity to teach them about your service, sacrifice and hopefully, they will learn what it means to be a "Proud American", too.

I learned this from my 84 year old dad who is a WWII Navy Veteran.

Thank you & God Bless You!

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger ~K said...

Smink,
I agree with the rest. Your entitled to a civilian life now. But really it wont be a civilian life will it, it will be a vetrans life. Your deserve to have a family and teach your children how to become respectable adults.
God Bless you and your future family.

 
At 1:10 AM, Blogger JUST A MOM said...

Smink, we all have chapters in our lives, it is time for you to start yet another one. When you look back on the book of your life, you will know the middle chapters were nessesary inorder to finish. You have done a great job in writing it.I know you will have a great finish. Hope this makes since to you. Keep us posted on your new life, I personlay have added you into my heartfelt extended blog family. I think "Brute" is a good name for yuor first born. hehe

 
At 1:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

good luck, baby, you've earned it!

- bodhi, Canada

PS thanks

 
At 9:41 PM, Anonymous Michaela said...

I just found your blog,so I have not read everything on it yet.

I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your service.

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger AFSister said...

Hey Smink....
I hope this doesn't mean you'll stop writing on your blog too.

Being selfish isn't such a bad thing- you've been UNselfish for years... it's time to focus on you, and who you want to be for the rest of your life.

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger armynurseboy said...

"My ETS date is in October, and now, the retention types and fellow soldiers are telling me that me getting out is a great loss to the Army.

To be honest, when I hear these words, it hurts. At times, it feels like I am betraying my soldiers and country for opting to no longer be a soldier."

We ALL leave the service sooner or later, whether it's after 3 years or 30. The amount of time you stay isn't as important as the fact you were one of us to begin with. So thank you for the time you gave. It's more than 95% of the American population has done.

And don't let the "great loss to the Army" make you feel guilty. It was not meant as a guilt trip, but to let you know the esteem that your fellow soldiers hold you in.

 
At 11:04 AM, Anonymous John Harriman said...

Great sentiment, great job. Thank you.

I write a column on MudvilleGazette called "Warrior to Warrior."

Can I use your column next week?

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At 3:45 PM, Blogger Toni said...

Smink - Just a Mom said it really well. You do what YOU gotta do. There are many of us grateful to you for serving as long as you did. You've got a great heart with a wonderful sense of loyalty. It's time to put that loyalty to your own life. But, not blogging would be a vewwy vewwy bad thing. :)

 
At 7:39 PM, Blogger Chris said...

All I can say is thank you for your service. Anything else would never measure up.

 
At 11:09 PM, Blogger Ramy said...

I love Smink! I'm proud of you and so thankful for your service. Congratulations on nearly a decade of dedication! And no worries - in your case, it's possible to be irreplaceable and replaceable at the same time... You've done a heckuva job and the Army will miss you, but others will step up. My brother will be graduating Army ROTC soon after you get out. ;)

 
At 11:43 PM, Blogger Household6 said...

Smink,
If your time is done, then it's done. Don't feel guilty about wanting to do different things in life. Maybe your work in the military can translate to civilian photo journalism. Wouldn't that be great?

You are a veteran, (just like it was already said) whether you served 3 or 30 years.

Best of luck on your decision.

HH6

 
At 8:22 AM, Anonymous jim said...

Welcome to the ranks, veteran. You've done what you can to help and now it is time for a well deserved rest.

Best of luck as a full fledged civilian. Although, I don't think you'll never stop being a soldier. You can take the soldier out of the Army, but you can't take the Army out of the soldier.

Jim

 
At 8:47 PM, Blogger LoveMyTanker said...

Thank you for your years of service and I hope you will enjoy the civilian life! HOOAH!

 
At 12:26 PM, Anonymous Sammy said...

Fred,

I had been trying to get you to stay in even while we were still in Mosul and you told me you were going to get out.

While I believe you would definitely continue to be an asset to the unit as far as using your experience to help train new soldiers as they come into the unit, I do understand and respect your decision.

I'm gonna keep going, though, until they hafta kick me out. Despite the occasional B.S., I completely enjoy what I'm doing and look forward to the challenge of rebuilding the unit and preparing it for what may lie ahead.

Just don't fall off the face of the planet, bonehead.




SSG J

 
At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Doug Browning said...

Smink, you don't have anything to feel bad about. I think most folks know when it's time to move on. Whether it's completion of your first, second, or whatever hitch you're on (third for you maybe?), when you're ready, you'll know it. It sounds like you do. You've fullfilled your service honorably and with distinction, you've earned (more than earned) your right to say, 'ok, I think I've done everything that I wanted to...time to let someone else have a turn'. Be proud, we're proud of you! Enjoy your new life soldier, you've earned it!

Doug

 
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