In Iraq for 365

About my experiences in Iraq... the frustrations, the missions and this country... and the journey home

Monday, September 12, 2005

I'll never forget

The two duffle bags were filled with my equipment collection of nine years. Cold weather mittens. Goggles. Kevlar. Canteens, canteen cups and canteen covers. Pistol belt. First aid kit. It was all there. Except for a camel back that was lost in Iraq.

Any equipment not turned in, even after a decade of service, the soldier is responsible for. I signed a statement of charges for a little over $30 for the item and I was done. I wrote a typical military memo, dry and free of inspirational thought, indicating my intentions of getting out.

I wanted to write that I planned to grow my hair to the length of my butt and not shave for two years, but I didn’t. I wanted to say that my final day of Army service was one of the happiest days of my life, but I didn’t. I wanted to thank the Army for losing my medical records three separate times, causing me to receive more vaccinations than a Rabies patient, but I didn’t. I wanted to write about how the Army’s health insurance, TriCare, failed to pay for multiple bills it was responsible for while I was hospitalized with Lyme disease, leaving my credit rating a wreck, but I didn’t. I wanted to ask how some officers ever received promotions while several more-deserving candidates were passed up because they were not good-old boys, but I didn’t. I wanted to demand an answer for why we need to fill out 25 pieces of paperwork to use a toilet in a government building, but I didn’t.

See, I don’t measure my years of service by the Army’s inadequacies or the people I want to forget. Rather, I will remember the important moments.

I’ll never forget the 25-mile road march in basic training. My feet were raw and my arms, back and thighs were sore as sore can be. After the march, we turned Blue, meaning we received the infantry’s coveted Blue Cord. I felt like a man that day.

I’ll never forget my first drill in Wisconsin. The majority of the unit was women. Being an infantryman transferring to a public affairs unit, I felt out of place and in the past harbored ill feelings toward female soldiers. But the females made me feel comfortable and the commander encouraged my creativity. I reenlisted after one year of service in Wisconsin.

I’ll never forget the day I received the “call.” It was Valentines Day, 2003. We were placed on alert and the only girls I called on this day of love were those I called soldiers.

I’ll never forget the time I spent in the hospital. My most frequent visitors were fellow soldiers.

I’ll never forget when we boarded the plane to leave the U.S. Joe and I placed towels on our heads and we laughed the flight away.

I’ll never forget the smell of my first patrol. The mixture of sewage and burning trash is a unique smell.

I’ll never forget our first night in NCO alley, where we learned to leave the war behind and just laugh. We learned the only way we can get through Iraq is by leaning on one another. By laughing more than crying.

I’ll never forget meeting Sergeant Mitts. His smile, his soft-spoken words and his heart impacted me in unmatched ways. At his memorial, I didn’t cry. I smiled in his memory.

I’ll never forget the day Samir bought me a vase from the Mosul market. He tried for a week to find one nice enough for my mother. “For you, sergeant, only the best.” The man made me laugh more than anybody and to this day, I can’t stop thinking about him.

I’ll never forget hearing the national anthem as we walked off the plane. Shaking hands with politicians and seeing American soil for the first time.

I’ll never forget the battle within my mind with readjusting. The nightmares. Fears. And how I overcame them all without medications or drinking. How it was tough and will continue to be a challenge, but I got through it and will continue to do so with the help of special people.

I’ll never forget my last drill. We had two new soldiers, both of whom wanted me to stay in.

“You can’t leave, man, you’re so funny.”

I’ll never forget Sammy’s face as I walked down the long hallway to our office for the last time. Tears filled his eyes as if he were at a funeral. He and I are close.

I’ll never forget opening my car door on the last day and I saw Sammy walking toward me.

“Dude, are you stalking me?”

“No, I got to go across the street to turn in some paperwork.”

I’ll never forget how red his eyes were. They were visible even under his thick magnifying glasses.

I’ll never forget my last salute as a soldier. Near my car in the Wisconsin Guard headquarters, I snapped to attention, looked in the direction of Staff Sgt. Brian P. Jopek, aka Sammy, raised my right hand, touching the brim of my soft cover and simply said “take care, brother.” He didn’t respond and just kept walking. See, NCOs don’t salute NCOs. Technically, you’re only supposed to salute officers and in ceremonies. But out of respect, I was saluting Sammy. “Dude, I’m serious. I’m saluting you.” He returned the salute and held it. “Take care, Sammy. I love you man.” He didn’t respond. “Hey, aren’t you going to say something?” “The last time I said something like that, you called me a faggot.” “I was joking then; I’m serious now.” “OK, I love you too.” He dropped his salute and proceeded on. As he left, I yelled “faggot. I can’t believe you said you love a man.”

I’ll never forget Sammy’s laugh. After all the ridicule I’ve given him over the years, including my in-jest fagot remark, he still laughs at every stupid thing I do. It was this laugh that got the gang in NCO Alley through many tough times.

I’ll never forget my military career. Through all the bad, there was plenty of good. And more laughs than on Comedy Central.

195 Comments:

At 4:00 PM, Anonymous kbug said...

Sweet memories! It's good that you have those to take with you as you leave the military behind....but that's what life's all about, Casanova, sweet memories. At least that's the way I see it. I'm glad you have so many great memories from your many years of service, but alot of that has to do with your attitude.....you can find the bright side of almost everything, and you keep your friends laughing, that's a real gift.

 
At 9:37 AM, Anonymous ArmyofMom said...

Thank you for sharing your memories and heart. Thank you for your service. We will never forget either.

I'm sure the next season of your life will be as rewarding and memorable.

God Bless You.

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger Tink said...

Thank you Smink.

Thank you for your service, thank you for your honesty, thank you for helping me to understand what it's like coming home and readjusting from a soldiers point of view.

You'll continue to serve, even if you aren't in uniform..it's in your blood. Just..thank you

 
At 8:23 PM, Blogger strykeraunt said...

Thank you again for sharing your very special moment. I could clearly picture you and Sammy...another huge kleenex moment. I even thought about it again today at work and teared up. The strong bond that develops when soldiers spend time together in a war zone is something that the rest of us can never truly understand. I suspect that it last a lifetime.

Some of the other moments and people you shared will also be engrained in my memory forever because your messages reached my heart and touched my soul.

Thank you for serving our Country in such an honorable manner (I cannot wait to read your book).

 
At 10:55 AM, Blogger Chris said...

It's all about the journey. Your's was right and noble.

You've done more for this country than I ever will. And our generation will forever be in debt to you.

 
At 7:28 PM, Blogger AFSister said...

Hey there Smink! It's been a while since I commented, and I see I missed a lot. Take care sweetie. See ya in the funny papers...

 
At 10:34 PM, Blogger JUST A MOM said...

Hey you, Thanks for filling my heart with all your words full of fear and sadness and laughter. Don't go getting all mushy on us now. You did your job and did it well. Now get your ass to a cabin and get writing will ya. Love ya Smink,and thank you again.

 
At 7:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Smink,
Thank you for sharing all these experiences through your blog.
Best wishes on your new Journey God Bless and Thank You for your Service to our Country. We will never forget the sacrifices you have all endured as well as your families during your Service.
Sincerely
Cathy & Family
Proud Massachusetts Soldiers Angel

 
At 7:14 AM, Blogger ~K said...

Smink,
Your a good Man (Charlie Brown~smile~). Love your heart. Bitter sweet memeories are lifes lessons. You take them lessons and do all you want and need on this road through life. Thank You for everything.

 
At 10:31 AM, Anonymous Sammy said...

Fred,

I do believe that had to be one of your better posts--and not because I was mentioned.

I told you some time ago that your style was similiar to the great Ernie Pyle.

You keep writing them like that--from the heart--and you will go far.

It wasn't that you and I won't ever hang out again because we will.

It was another in a long line of people I had grown to know and care about in my years of service, in two different public affairs units, that left for one reason or another.

Your departure from the unit, though, did hit me hard. It was definitely like another chapter, not only in your life, but my military career, that was closing.

You will be sorely missed as I work to help the new commander get the unit ready for the next time we get the call.

By the way, don't forget 27 September. I know I won't.

Every so often, I watch the video I produced of the memorial service for SSG T and SGT Mitts and I do cry. I didn't know either one but because of your personal connection with them, I felt like I had.

And I will never, ever forget NCO Alley.

We'll see ya soon, Fred. Whenever you unbury yourself from yonder cabin up North, there hey.


Regards,

SSG Brian Jopek
a/k/a Sammy
Broadcast NCOIC
Det.1, 139 MPAD
WIARNG

 
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At 1:57 AM, Blogger Teresa said...

I remember leaving the PAD and my military career, too, and it was sad, but yet it opened up a lot of doors too.

I just spoke to Julie tonight and I know she is glad to be a "civilian" too. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger CBFTW said...

"I’ll never forget my military career. Through all the bad, there was plenty of good."

Thats a good copy, I feel the same way.
Glad your back. -cb

 
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Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us during your "365". I think it hurts most to remember a lost loved one's laugh because laughter truly expresses the essence of life, doesn't it? Live life and keep laughing for those that cannot, Smink.

 
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It's nice to see a blog that is worked regularly...Keep up the good work!
If you ever need content, browse of site at http://olin.tk . We also have our official company blog at http://olinepublishing.blogspot.com You are invited to use material from either.read

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger Richard K said...

Hi, your blog is fantastic! Well done!

I have a london travel site/blog. It pretty much covers london travel related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger natwhoed said...

I was Natwhoed
This is in response to the so called business opportunity offered from NWC (National Wholesale Company) and Natwho. I bought in to one of their website leases 2 years ago. They claimed it was an excellent opportunity to start a small business and earn money selling electronic products online. They also claimed to offer me these products at wholesale prices.
To date I've had over 14,000 visits to my site. However, I have yet to produce a single sale. My total sales to date is $0.00 while my total expenses are $4,000.00 plus and counting.
I still have nearly a year to go on my lease.
Now I'm not saying someone isn't making money with NWC. It just isn't me for sure. As for other people with NWC websites I cannot say weather they had any profits or not. Every NWC site owner I have contacted has not responed. I've tried my hardest to sell their products to family, friends, co-workers, and have used mass email but no takers. It's not like I haven't tried.
So, you may want to investigate before you sign a lease. Think it over real good. Compare their wholesale prices with other sites, get a detailed expense sheet of all the services that apply to the lease, and make sure you get what is promised.
My site can be seen at http://www.techdepot.ecxsites.com check it out.

 
At 12:02 AM, Blogger Rob said...

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At 12:28 AM, Blogger Rob said...

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