Watching football in Iraq

Watching your favorite football team via satellite television in Iraq is like drinking a glass of refreshing ice tea on a hot summer day with 30 hot girls in skimpy bikinis rubbing your back. Watching your favorite football team via satellite television in Iraq when they lose is like drinking a warm glass of another man’s spit in a fat lesbian biker bar. You want to puke, especially when they were winning by four touchdowns. Especially when you skipped out on sleep just to watch them play. Especially when you watched the team you hate the most beat your beloved alma mater. Not to mention, I’m in a country where they think football is soccer. I’ve been depressed all day because Oklahoma State, my alma mater, lost to Texas. It’s hard to concentrate on the little things when something so dear to your heart – a victory – was ripped away from you. I HATE TEXAS football. They are cocky, pathetic and crude. I didn’t go outside the wire today. I just wrote a bunch of stories that had been piling up and edited my soldier’s work. Of course, there was conflict. One soldier still acts like she’s in high school, living at her parent’s house. She whines and moans when she’s given a mission. Today, I told her she was lazy because she interviewed a soldier from our unit, which is unacceptable. That would be like a Washington Post journalist interviewing his copy editor about the election. Ever heard of conflict of interest? At any rate, I’ll admit, I was in a cranky mood since OSU lost. But I still remained professional, but my lashings were a little tougher.