In Iraq for 365

About my experiences in Iraq... the frustrations, the missions and this country... and the journey home

Saturday, April 09, 2005

A night on the town has me thinking

Tonight, I enjoyed the town and let me tell you as I write this post, my scruples are not all there. But as a lifetime writer, I am gifted with the ability to write even while I am under the influence, per se.

First, let me elaborate on what I saw this evening. I saw a bunch of beautiful girls, but none I was attractive to. Not because of their bodily imperfections, but because they were all superficial. I enjoyed my evening because most of it was spent with my friend named Sia from Tanzania. He is an alien to the United States working here on a Visa. He is a dear friend, and back a few years ago he felt the percussion of a bomb at which targeted the U.S. Embassy in his country. He was the top-rated mathematician when he graduated the equivalent of our high school in Tanzania. He received a scholarship to Michigan Tech and has since received a position in Milwaukee as one of the city’s premier Civil Engineers.

As I write this, all I can think about is the soldiers who still serve in Iraq and Afghanistan. In the places I visited tonight, it’s as if these soldiers didn’t even exist. A world of apathy we live in, and it troubles me beyond belief. I find myself not being whom I used to be. I used to be a carefree guy who went to these places with a smile on my face and pickup lines in my back pocket. Now, I just look at the potential girls and guys as just brainless folks walking around a world that encourages them to continue to do the same.

The other day I received an email from an Iraqi who said that he loved my blog, but said that he didn’t agree with my cultural beliefs of Iraqis. I really hope I didn’t offend him with some of my humor. Iraqis are truly great people. Many of them opened up their homes to me and offered tea. They are sweet people and it’s important that folks in the U.S. and elsewhere understand that. For now, I must go sleepee. Me have too much to drinkee.

34 Comments:

At 5:11 AM, Blogger CaliValleyGirl said...

OMG...you were drunk blogging...that can be very dangerous...lol..;-)...but also very honest...anyways, hope you enjoyed your "sleepee"...;-)

 
At 7:56 AM, Blogger Harold/AQ said...

Smink, your observations are valid. They haven't been where you've been or seen what you've seen. The people who are aware of the commitment of lives in Iraq and Afghanistan mostly think of it in terms of politics or tax dollars. One hardly hears anything about Afghanistan these days.
All I can tell you is that it's been that way forever. I think it means you did your job. You're not the person you were. You've changed, and they haven't. You answered the call to cover their butts, and because you did that they get to make happy hour at TGIFridays without a care in the world... the way you used to do.
One more thing to come to terms with.

 
At 9:56 AM, Blogger Sue said...

Profound words, even for being "in your cups".

I think travel of any sort changes people's perceptions, and more so when it's experiencing the world the way you did. They say it's true - you can never go home again. Now the trick is finding what's beneath the superficial ity in the world. There are a lot of good people out there, if you scratch the surface.

 
At 12:30 PM, Blogger JUST A MOM said...

Glad to see your loosening up there guy, hope you didn't wear the BRUTE! OK I will lay off the brute jokes. I think the way you see the world now is what happens to a lot of people who have life changing experences. Others do not change when you do. It is all "normal" Smink. Hang in there!

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger DangerGirl said...

Who am I? I hardly know...at least I know who I was when I woke up this morning, But I must have changed several times since.

If we are always arriving and departing, it is also true that we are eternally anchored. One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

You've grown spiritually...you will soon attract people to you that reflect back to you..not who you once were...but who you now are!

Be patient!

 
At 3:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's called a sense of compassion.

Without it life is meaningless!

 
At 6:27 PM, Blogger janie said...

In a phone conversation with one of my re-deployed home "adopted" Soldiers...in a span of 15 minutes he spoke (4 times) that there was a war going on and nobody cares. Nobody understands what is going on there. (Iraq)

The "nobody" is going to get educated if I have anything to say about it...I believe it starts in your own backyard.

 
At 9:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Casanova, it's sadly true that there are many people who can't see past themselves and their own little worlds to what's going on elsewhere. It seems like without some kind of personal connection through family members or friends, they just can't see that far. But, there are also many who think about and pray for our soldiers every day......and, thanks to people like you, that number grows every day. Keep telling it like it is......maybe some day everyone will be able to see that far......

 
At 12:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, I wanted to mention that I really liked what Huntress stated,
Sue, and Kbug... At this point I forgot what I was really going to share with you... Maybe I wanted to type to you for a reason.. A simple journey that had to be accomplished, I don't know you, But I like you.. I live in Florida, I love Rock-n-roll, Hard Rock, and alot of stuff in between.. Judas Priest, Van Halen, Ozzy, That was my old time favorites, Deo, They don't exist on our radio stations anymore,, UNBELIEVABLE.... You are a person that captured my attention, along with a Mountain of others...

 
At 7:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean. My son is currently serving in Iraq. Some days I get so depressed and worried about him that I feel I cant function. He just turned 19 on Apr. 4, to me, he is still a baby, but I know that he is a man now. I see people going on about their lil happy go-lucky lives with not a care in the world, and here I am worrying myself to death, it literally pisses me off. Then I have people that I work right beside every day that never even ask me about him!! I think this is THE worst thing that I have ever had to go through! God bless all of our troops, and bring them home!!

 
At 8:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

YO! Sminkie!! just got caught up on yer blog... i kinda like the pickled posting ... perspective, ya see. as for the other, you ARE making a difference! one reader at a time. there's more of us out there than you realize.

 
At 11:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smink,
I haven't checked ur blog in a week or two.. funny that I should check today and there your "Night on the Town" blog.. I feel compelled to tell you about my Sat. night..quick background.. I bartend in a neighborhood bar in the Bronx, NY and decided to spend my Sat. night off sittin on the other side with the usual crew of regulars. These are good, salt of the earth people...it's kareoke night and people are ready to let loose and have some.

We had the privilege last night of hosting 10 marines visiting from VA who came up for a Yankee game and just happened to walk into our bar! We could not have been happier to have them! It gave all of us the opportunity to express our gratitude.. and THAT we did..in words and action. These guys were treated with the utmost respect by every person in the bar (even Angry Andy-the resident angry drunk guy)... drinks on the house...even Tightwad Tommy pulled out his wallet-this is unprecedented! Not one of those soldiers ever had to reach into their pockets.. but the real tribute was when one chick got up and sang "American Soldier".. the place went nuts.. next was a resounding chorus of God Bless the USA and on and on... The lump in my throat prevented me myself from signing..and the quite tears were there too (as I suspect was true for many of us)...
I've never felt so proud to be an American as I did last night. It was my honor to be in the company of these fine men who are risking their lives to preserve my freedom and my life.
Smink...there are those of us out there who are constantly aware of the sacrifices being made by so many... it's always on my mind...and these soldiers and their families are in my prayers every night..Just know that...

-Kellie

 
At 1:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, i wrote that letter to you,
iam not offended at all, i think your great, the point of my e-mail was to show you that iraqis support you. I just said one or two things i did not agree with, thats such a minor, please carry on blogging,
Your Iraqi brother and friend
Ali

 
At 5:43 PM, Blogger FbL said...

Sminkie,

I read your post and had all sorts of things to say, but after reading the comments I see they've been said. So, just count me among the many civilians who have not forgotten, who are not unaware, and who also often feel like the rest of the world is pretty superficial.

As Huntress rightly said, you've changed/grown and "you will soon attract people to you that reflect back to you..not who you once were...but who you now are!" Maybe it'll be a little tough in the meantime, but hang in there!

 
At 7:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Smink - wish I had your 'way with words' to say this - but hopefully you'll get what I'm trying to say anyway. Enough people have already expressed that you've grown/changed and that it's pretty normal. I just wanted to point out one little thing - when people go out on a weekend, a lot of times it's a quick escape from reality. Doesn't neccessarily mean that everyone is superficial - and nobody cares about what's going on. It may just be a bunch of people who have chosen to take a break and loosen up a little.

OK, yeah, there also a lot of clueless people running around - but like someone else said, if you scratch the surface a little there may be a lot more there. Don't give up on your hometown yet.

Even though there are still a lot of Americans in harms way, I don't think they mind if we let go once in awhile and enjoyed the hard earned freedoms.

But when someone reminds us of the bigger picture while we are out - like when you hear American Soldier - or whatever - you'll see a lot of people tear up. I think it's part pride in our military, part guilt that we ARE having a good time when so many are in harm's way.

I'm getting lost in my own post - so I better stop now. Hope it made a little sense.

 
At 10:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Smink -
Hi Smink,
I can't help but think that you may be judging people a little prematurely. I read deployed soldier's blogs every day to see what's really going on where they are, am a soldier's angel with an adopted soldier & marine in Iraq that I write, email and send stuff to, and pray for, but when I go out to happy hour, I'm sure me and my friends also look superficial and silly. Fact of the matter is that I am here, not there. I do what I can to support in ways that are available to me, but beyond that still live my life here in our awesome country.
With love & much gratitude to you for serving our country by your service and blogging. We need your perspective. Thank you!

 
At 11:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fred,

People seem to be "indifferent" in settings like that. I've noticed it since we got back a few months ago. Hell, I noticed it before we left.

People don't want to think about things like war--it's one of the reasons you don't see too much in the way of people sacrificing material goods much like they did in WW2.

It's easier for them to pretend it isn't there.

Kind of like they tried to do with Korea in the 50's.

They have a difficult time, though, completely ignoring it. Most places I go, whether it's a bar or convienence store or bowling alley or restaraunt, I still have perfect strangers thank me for my service.

Of course, they see my "Mosul, Iraq" baseball cap that I wear to honor guys like SSG T and SGT Mitts with the 1/25 (I often wonder how the memorial video I did for them was accepted by their respective families ), LTC Mark Phelan with the 416th Civil Affairs Battalion,and female soldiers like SGT Rubacalva with the 296th Brigade Support Battalion, Third Brigade, Second Infantry Division.

As you know, all four died over there as a result of combat over there in Mosul.

I came back alive.

I choose to not be indifferent. I quietly wear my hat for them.

SSG J

 
At 12:41 PM, Blogger Sminklemeyer said...

Sammy,

Get back to work and stop surfing the internet.

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger Amber Lynn said...

You're a person of substance now. Nothin' wrong with that.

 
At 8:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smink, been reading for a while. First time I thought I might have something useful to contribute. You've literally been to war and nothing will ever really be the same again. You appreciate how short life can be and how things can change in the fraction of a second. You KNOW how bad life can be and to see people who don't understand these things and who can't truly comprehend them as you do is I'm sure, a terribly frustrating feeling. I'm a vet like you but not a combat vet. I've talked with lots of guys who've been in it, mostly in places that don't have names and with events that never officially happened and they all said the same thing or variations on a theme. You've had (and survived) a life changing experience and nothing will ever truly be the same again. Doesn't mean it can't be great, just that it's going to be different. I agree with some of the others who've said that you will find someone to share with. You'll probably appreciate that here, finally will be someone that you can truly confide in and trust and who, even if she doesn't understand everything you're saying, will listen to you without judging you. I know, I've got one of my own and she's worth, well, everything to me. It will take time brother, but you'll get there. Keep the faith, God Bless

Doug

 
At 2:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greg Moore puts it well in this piece in today's Opinion Journal.

Coming Home
What I learned serving in Iraq.
BY GREG MOORE

http://www.opinionjournal.com/extra/?id=110006545

 
At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Story posted today on Soldier's Angels site by an angel in Florida...
---
On Saturday night I went to the local bar about an hour before closing to see my friend who bar tends there. I brought my pictures that my Soldier James sent me. She was looking at them then the DJ came over to see them and then the off duty police officer doing security came to see too.

Needless to say they got all out of order so when everyone was done I started laying them out on the bar to put them back in order so I have 24 pictures laying in front of me and a young man about my age comes up to order a beer from my friend. I see he's looking at the pictures I said to him "These are my boys in Iraq" He looks at me like I'm crazy. I said not like my kids, but like my friends. He said he was there, I asked you were in Iraq and he said yes. He is on leave from VA and came to South Florida to visit his family,it ends up he's from here in South Florida where we were.

He asked how old I was and I told him 26, so is he. He said he never met anyone who even knew this much about the military before he went in let alone them be my age and know. So he is down playing how hard he works. He told me his wife left him when he first got deployed and then he got engaged after that and she left him also. They both couldn't deal with the deployment. I said I'm sorry if you still love her but she is a ****. He laughed.

I told him all about being adopted and how its his job to protect us and our Angel job to make the job more comfortable for them. I asked my bar tender friend for a pen. I told the Soldier I want you to have this and remember it. So on the bar napkin I wrote" You are the reason the USA will always be Strong, Free, and Proud. You are a hero" I told him if he has to tattoo it on his body to remember he needed to. The look on his face was amazing, like a stranger or even some one he knew has never told him what a brave person he was. He promised to email me when he gets back to VA and he would let me adopt him.

 
At 11:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just be patient...there are some jobs that expose you to a side of life that 90% of American suburbanites have never seen, and when you have walked a mile or so down that road, it gets hard to be in the company of those who seem clueless, superficial, and brain dead. You're unlikely to meet a solid girl out clubbing, though stranger things can happen...

But I would urge you to look for someone in a field like nursing, law enforcement, education, etc. which tends to expose people to more of the sorts of life/death scenarios you have seen.

 
At 7:15 AM, Blogger Porkchop said...

I wish I could say I have done more to support the war. Yes, I have sent care packages, letters and all that, but I continue to wish I can do more.

It saddens me to see the apathy that pervades the generation of young people whose peers are giving up the best years of their lives to fight for their freedom.

I wish I could say that I have done more. I have done some, letters, care packages and that sort of thing. But not enough to satiate the knowledge I will never know the loneliness and sacrifice they have so freely demonstrated.

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger Some Soldier's Mom said...

Smink, Everyone I know has an opinion on the war. Whether they support it or not, I haven't met anyone who doesn't support our troops there.

While visiting in Albuquerque last weekend, a total stranger pulled up next to our car (at a traffic light)and said he noticed our "Our son proudly serving OIF III 2005" magnet on the rear -- and wanted to ask us to thank our son for him and told us he would remember our son in his prayers. Same thing in a grocery parking lot the week before. Happens all the time.

Our Navy son tells us that many people stop him and thank him for his service when he is out in his uniform. People stop to ask about his brother when they see his "My brother proudly serving..." magnet on his car.

Those people in that bar, that night may have acted clueless, but I believe they would be in the minority in this country. Really.

 
At 3:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wouldn't say it's a world of apathy. but rather a country of apathy-- USA. One of the many reasons someone like bush could be elected, twice.

 
At 7:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smink,

You don’t have the luxury of getting depressed about it (As if reality is yours to interpret). No more than you have the luxury of getting to self focused in life. In the end that will make you no different from the ignorant who you were lamenting. There but by the grace of God go you, and He who is given understanding, has a responsibility. Get back in there and write Solder! You mission is not over till the Lord says it is!

2 Cor 10:3For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. 5We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

-mouse

 
At 3:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smink, I've read your blog for sometime and totally enjoy it. My wife spent 8 months over there as an AF ANG Capt embedded with the Big Red 1, and she too found herself not as the person who left. She tells me of her same feelings when out in public places, that she feels no one cares. Where we live, I think it's more that when these people are out in a bar, or at the movies or dinner; most of the time they're just not thinking of all the heros over there at that time. We're lucky, we've not met one person around here that doesn't support both the war and especially the troops. Unfortunately, not everyone shows it when out on the town. That doesn't mean that they don't hold each of our troops close in their hearts and private thoughts. Hang in there, we're looking forward to reading more of your posts. Thanks for serving and writing so eloquently about your experience.

 
At 10:18 PM, Blogger Some Soldier's Mom said...

yeah... getting a little worried, Smink... hope it's just busy and fun stuff keeping you away...

 
At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ALCON (All concerned in military lingo),

Fred is just fine. Well, as far as I know. He was doing the bachelor party thing this weekend. So, yes, it was fun stuff keeping him away.

I saw him Thursday when he gave a presentation to a public relations luncheon about the things he and I and the rest of our public affairs unit did in northern Iraq.

Take my word for it. The Sminkster is alive and kickin'.


Regards,
SSG J

 
At 12:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just bookmarked your blog. I will try to post often.

Do you think gas pricing is ever going to go down? I founds some gas saving tips at car rental coupon


Keep in touch :)

 
At 10:29 PM, Blogger Roberto Iza Valdés said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger Roberto Iza Valdés said...

Merry Christmas!

 
At 12:57 PM, Blogger Roberto Iza Valdés said...

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